My close friend and neighbor Fran is part of Community Bible Study
(CBS), a non-denominational 30-week Bible course. Last year, a woman
in the program, Diane, spoke to the CBS group about what God has
taught her since the birth of her daughter, Erynne, who has a neurological disability that affects her muscle tone, mobility, vision, speech and hearing.
Fran and I were so moved by Diane's story that we volunteered to help
with Erynne's therapy once a week. I often brought my two children
to these therapy sessions because Diane saw how well Erynne responded
when other children were involved in the session. Erynne's therapy is
a vigorous program that takes place in Diane's home five days a week
for 4 to 6 hours a day. Every week more than two dozen volunteers
are needed to walk Erynne and to stimulate her speech, vision and sense
of touch through a series of exercises and activities. It's a demanding
schedule for the family, especially since Erynne has two older
sisters, Elly, 9 and Heidi, 7.
A few weeks ago, Diane spoke to the CBS group again and reflected on
what God has taught her through Erynne during the past year. Diane
said, "I used to look at Erynne and what she couldn't do. I viewed
her as a burden. But now I don't look at her disability. When I see
Erynne, I see a very precious child and I feel like she's a treasure.
"I remember in my heart four years ago, I said, 'Lord Jesus, if you
don't heal Erynne, I want you to take her.' I wasn't willing to face
the painful road that was looming in front of me. The easy way out
of my pain was to tell God to take her if she wasn't going to be healed.
What God did instead was to change and heal me. I love her as she
is, and I'm thrilled with the progress she's made and what she can do
now. But I'm not content to leave her there.
"And as I've thought about that, I realize that's how God views you
an me. God loves us as we are and is delighted in our progress. But
not content to leave us there, God is always at work in us and around us,
stimulating our growth because it is for our good."
Diane spoke honestly and beautifully about the easy and comfortable
life she always expected she would have--a life that didn't allow
room for pain, suffering or disappointment. It's a world to which most of
us believe we're entitled. Understandably, we want to keep pain and
suffering at a distance in our lives. We live in a society that is
uncomfortable with pain, suffering, crises and illness. We find
ourselves looking for ways around the pain--anything to avoid going
through it.
Yet, it is often in these most painful moment--a diagnosis of cancer,
the sudden death of a loved one, a car accident, an addiction, a
parent's illness or a child's disability--that we have the
opportunity to meet Jesus heart to heart. It doesn't happen immediately, but when we look back at our life's darkest moments, we understand that those are the times that we've grown in the most profound ways. During
these times when God has our undivided attention, we're given pportunities
to redefine our priorities and allow God to change us.
Diane said, "My circumstances were telling me that God had given a
raw deal. But what I learned was to look past my circumstances to God's
heart and to see Erynne as God's gift to me. And I learned that all
God's gifts are for our provision whether we recognized them as good
at first or not."
As Diane spoke, I thought of the responsibility we have as parents
for teaching our kids how to respond to the pain and suffering that comes
into our lives. This isn't easy to do because our natural instinct
as parents is to shield our child from pain and hurt. It can be
difficult to teach our kids that pain and heartbreak are just as much
a part of life as happiness and joy. Certainly, children don't need
to believe that pain is something pleasant. Perhaps it is our job,
however, to show children that there are times when we can turn tears
into joy and burdens into gifts. Be reaching out to someone in pain,
we're letting that person know that because we're there to help, God
has not forgotten them.
Diane continued, "Another thing that God is doing in my life is
changing me from being a Martha to a Mary. He's changing me from
being a doer to one who delights in sitting at Jesus' feet. The
perspective I've always had is that a day wasn't worth much unless I
could get a lot done. If I couldn't look at my "To do"list and see
my checks beside the many items, I felt frustrated. Well, because of
Erynne's need and because of my family's needs, at the end of the
day, I think, I've had a shower, I've gotten dressed, I've got three meals
on the table and usually the dishes are washed--not always. And
we've accomplished Erynne's therapy. And that's it. But I don't mind
putting off my "To Do"list anymore because it will get done when it
needs to get done.
"Erynne's therapist told us that the most critical part of her
therapy is her walking because more than any other activity it stimulates her vision, speech and sensitivity (to touch). Likewise, God opened my
eyes to see that God wants to improve my vision, speech and
sensitivity through my daily walking with him. I'm seeing that touch
circumstances are opportunities for personal growth: I have a
message to encourage and speak to others in pain. I have a keener
sensitivity and awareness that my own weaknesses don't have to impede my spiritual maturity."
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FAMILY SHARING:
How does Jesus want us to act when we or others are sick?
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Scripture Readings about Suffering:
1. Psalms 13, 66 and 135
2. Jeremiah 8:18-23; 12:1-4
3. Matthew 16:21-27
4. Mark 8:27-35
5. The Book of Job
6. Romans 8:17-28, 31-39
7. 2 Chronicles 20:9-10
8. 1 Thessalonians 1:4-8
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Books and Resources for Parents:
1. A Grief Observed - by C. S. Lewis
2. Pain-The Gift that Nobody Wants -By Dr. Paul Brand and
Philip Yancey
3. The Christian Meaning of Suffering - by Pope John Paul II
(Taken form RENEW International, Roman Catholic Archdiocese of
Newark, New Jersey)